Friday, 21 August 2015

10 ways to deal with a flare up...

Let me start off with saying that this list is a reflection of what has helped me in the past. I am in no way telling you how you should feel, also i understand that everyone’s personal situations are different. We all have different levels of pain and circumstances. My aim with this list is that you will be able to take away a couple ideas that will help you when times get tough with your health.

Always remember the quote from Les Miserables - “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise”

1. Be Honest.
With yourself and with the people around you. There’s nothing worse than feeling a flare up coming on and being in denial or hiding it. The sooner you deal with it, the sooner you will recover and get help from others.

2. Have a plan.
I know it sounds stupid but it works. Have you ever wanted to help someone but not known how? Well, help your family & friends out by writing out the things you need help with when going through a flare up. It’s also a good idea to include things to cheer you up. Thing’s i’d include are ‘a cup of tea in my favourite mug’or ‘watching While You Were Sleeping’.

3. Listen to an audiobook.
i love reading, there’s nothing i find more joy in than sitting down to a good book. But often i’m too exhausted to read when my health is really bad. Also it can be a struggle to focus on something for a long amount of time. I would highly recommend listening to an audiobook. Quite often your local library will have some sort of online service for you to borrow audiobooks too!

4. Listen to Music.
You know, no matter what i’m going through, there is just no denying that music helps. Be sure to make a playlist of your favourite songs to listen to when you’re not well.

5. Have Friends that understand.
There is nothing worse than feeling alone when you’re going through a hard time with your health. This isn’t easy but try to seek out the friends that will stick with you and do their best to understand what’s happening in your life. 

6. Plan something for the future.
Organise to meet up with a friend, have a day out by the beach or something you enjoy doing. Plan it for about a month’s time, so you know you’ll have enough time to recover from your flare up but you have something in your calendar to look forward too.

7. Write it down.
When things get tough i like to write. Quite often i like to write it all down then throw it away. It just gets my feelings off my chest. You may want to keep some sort of journal or diary as a means of expressing how you feel.

8. Get support.
Whether it be from family/friends or online, you’ve got to ask for help sometimes. I know, it’s hard. But when we’re down asking for help can be the only way out sometimes. Don’t ever suffer alone. Remember, no one should ever make you feel inferior because you’ve asked for help.

9. Keep your memories close at heart.
Scrapbooking can be a really fun way to look back on all the cool & fun memories you’ve made, it’s also a great activity to do. So if you haven’t started one, why not have some sort of book and some photos ready for when you feel like starting a scrapbook.

10. Get some fresh air.

I know how hard this can be. Trust me, I’ve been there. I got to a point last year where getting down the stairs each day was a struggle, but i did it. Most days, i sat out in the garden for half an hour, it doesn’t sound like much but it was a vital part of my routine and really helped me through that tough patch with my health.

I hope some of those suggestions will help you. If you're going through a tough time at the moment and feel like talking about it, feel free to in the comments.

As always, stay strong, have courage and be kind.

Much Love, Beth xxx

Sunday, 2 August 2015

It's Ok To Grieve


Just breathe.

It's ok if all you did today was breathe.

I think we all forget how important it is to stop and just take a moment to breathe, especially when considering something so sensitive and fragile as grieving.

So take a moment before reading any further and give yourself a moment of calm.

Ok, so here's the tough stuff...

It's ok to grieve.

Recently, i went through the loss of a friend that shook my world more than i could have imagined.

This loss threw a question at me - why does no one ever talk about grieving?

From what i have experienced, in my culture anyway, it's not really normal to talk about the pain death causes.

For me, i always feel like there is this pressure that once a funeral happens, a loved one should just be able to move on. But in reality, it takes weeks, months, even years to just be able to live with the pain and to a certain extent, on some level, be able to cope.

This point was really brought home to me when i was very young. I had a family member pass away when i was in primary school, i reckon i was about 10 years old at the time. A week after the funeral a classmate of mine came up to me and asked me why i was still crying? Why was i still sad?

Even as a child i could't believe how little it's talked about that we need time to process and grieve the loss of someone.

The main reason i wanted to write this post is because of the guilt i felt at taking time to grieve recently. It's been 3 months and my heart still feels like it's shattered in pieces when i think about my friend.

I don't know when i'll feel "ok" again but i'm processing and trying to be honest with myself about the time i need.

I think what's really important is to have people there for you when you're ready for them. 

If you have gone through a loss, i hope you find peace and a way to go on. Try to find joy in the simple things, and know that you will find happiness again. And when you are happy, know that it is in no way disrespecting your loved one but rather finding a way to carry on without them here.

Much Love, Beth xxx